10 · SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 2019 TRIB TOTAL MEDIA
When a child’s life is impacted by the
addiction of one or both parents, it often
is up to family members, friends and other
caregivers to step in and help, whether in a
formal or informal capacity.
For those caregivers, understanding how
the impact of addiction can manifest in
children can be confusing. While some
children might seem to get into constant
trouble, others might act like perfect an-gels.
While some might be gregarious oth-ers
could be reserved.
Madeline Sample works not only with
POWER Recovery, a Pittsburgh-based orga-nization
to help women reclaim their lives
from addiction, but also leads sessions
through her own Each One Teach One
Training and Consultation service.
There are four typical roles of children
living in families where addiction, sub-stance
abuse and other dysfunction are
present, she said. Knowing not only the
roles, but also what causes children to fall
into the roles and what they are feeling,
can help caregivers better address their
needs.
The first role is the hero child, she said.
“The hero child is often what we see as
THE EFFECTS OF ADDICTION
a perfect child,” Sample said. “Very re-sponsible
for the family, very respectful,
fairly successful in school and often times
labeled as the teacher’s pet. Very helpful,
takes on a lot of adult responsibilities at
Most children living in families where addiction, substance abuse and other dysfunction
are present fall into one of four typical roles. One role is the ‘scapegoat’ role, where the
child might be a troublemaker in school, tough, mouthy and generally difficult to manage.
home and has a tendency to manage the
household duties.”
In some cultures, she said, children are
expected to take on a level of responsibil-ity
for younger siblings and with chores.
The problem arises when the child be-comes
more adult than child.
On the inside, Sample said, the child is
very anxious, feels very inadequate and is
terrified of failing. Hero children are also
often angry, sad and ashamed, particularly
if the child and his or her siblings have to
leave the home because they will feel they
didn’t do enough and shoulder much of
the blame.
“What we try to tell caregivers to do is to
give (the child) permission to make mis-takes
and not be so perfect,” Sample said.
“You have to help them be a child, so it’s
important to know developmentally what
happens at a particular stage. If I’m 8, what
should an 8-year-old be expected to do
and not do.
“Caregivers want to provide opportuni-ties
for that child to play and not take on a
leadership role, but it has to be done very
gently and considerately. Let’s say the hero
child says, ‘I’ll give my sister a bath,’ the
caregiver can say, ‘I’ll run the water and get
her in, then you can stay with her while
she’s in the tub.’ They want to gradually
release this child from taking on a care-taker
role.”
The second role is the scapegoat.
This is the child everyone thinks of,
Sample said. This is the troublemaker in
CREATING A
PROFOUND
IMPACT
Children deal with burden of parents’ addiction problems in different ways
Another role children living in families where addiction is present can fall into is the
‘lost child’ role, where the child is generally quiet and lonely. This child might sit in a
corner doing homework or playing XBox despite the chaos going on around them.
PHOTOS: STOCK.ADOBE.COM
BY KAREN PRICE
FOR TRIB TOTAL MEDIA