CAREGIVER • SUNDAY, AUGUST 25, 2019 • 13
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3356 Boulevard, Pittsburgh, 15237
in Monroeville, but also one at the Monroeville
Senior Center and one at the Plum
Boro Senior Center.
All meet during lunch, but they’ll soon be
launching an evening café to accommodate
caregivers who work or have other obligations
during the day. They often have a
topic at their meetings, she said, but it’s an
ongoing, ever-evolving discussion of what
each caregiver goes through as they’re trying
to care for their loved one.
“Most who attend do not live in any
Arden Courts building, they’re just going
mostly for the education and the camaraderie,”
she said. “I learn something new myself
every time I go, even though I consider
myself an expert on handling dementia.
“They come up with things that are just
fascinating that they’ve discovered in their
journeys with their loved ones. It makes
everyone feel as though they’re learning
something new, and it’s so helpful for the
people that really, really need support. No
one knows what’s going to happen dayto
day with the disease, and it’s helpful to
know you’re doing the best you can.”
With the disease striking younger and
younger, Watson said they have a wide age
range of attendees at their cafés. Sometimes
they’ll have three people, sometimes 25.
Some people have a spouse with dementia,
others a parent. Family members will
sometimes come in support of the primary
caregivers, and of course loved ones are always
welcome, although Watson said caregivers
should be aware that their loved ones
could be offended by the conversation.
“Sometimes they’ll say, ‘Are you talking
about me?’ because they’re cognitively
aware enough to understand what’s going
on,” she said. “But we feel families know
best. We have several couples who come
where one spouse is affected and the other
isn’t. So the affected spouses, too, are listening
although they may not be reacting
to a lot of the conversation, but it’s also a
comfort to the person who needs support
to know he or she isn’t abandoning that
person while trying to get themselves some
help.”
Swigart said that recently a husband and
wife came to a meeting for the first time.
He was in the early stages of dementia.
“He spoke a little about what he’s going
through and how he’s feeling and their
issues and stressful situations,” she said.
“Some people are very quiet and you can
tell they’re more there just to listen, and
that’s OK. No one’s going to force you to
say anything. It’s very relaxed and if you
want to share that’s fine and if you don’t
that’s fine.
“The conversation can go many different
directions and there’s always a lot of things
to talk about. There’s just a lot of empathy
and compassion and lots of good advice,
but nothing’s pushed on anyone. It’s a relaxed
place to just talk through things.”
Chiusano said she’s seen friendships
grow and expand from the cafés into everyday
life for some of their attendees. While it
started as something for their independent
living residents, plenty of people from outside
the community come to the monthly
meet-ups at Somma Pizza and Sports Bar
on Coxcomb Hill Road just down from the
Longwood at Oakmont campus.
There they have at least two members
from Presbyterian SeniorCare on hand to
walk or spend time with those with dementia
while their caregivers talk and relax.
They order pizza and just enjoy spending
time together.
“We’ve offered to have folks come in and
speak with them but they don’t want that,”
Chiusano said. “They like coming together,
sharing a meal and enjoying each others’
company. They say if they want someone to
speak to them they can do that anywhere.
“They’ve built pretty good relationships
here. Presbyterian SeniorCare sponsors a
Memory Café in Washington, that was the
second one, and they go to Eat’n Park on
Saturday mornings, order coffee and sit
around and chat and they had the same
response from their participants. They just
want to sit, relax, enjoy a meal and talk
about anything and everything that comes
up.
“You get people who come back month
after month, and when you find out they’re
connecting outside the Memory Café it
makes you feel good.”
Chiusano stressed that although Presbyterian
SeniorCare Network sponsors the
cafés, this isn’t about trying to get anyone
to come live with them.
“We just want to make sure people have
somewhere they can go, somewhere they
can take a break,” she said. “It’s been
well-received so it’s been pretty awesome.
We’re so fortunate to be able to do this.”
For more information about
Memory Cafés in Pennsylvania visit
memorycafedirectory.com/memory-
cafes-in-pennsylvania.
BEATING ISOLATION